Saturday

Best Joke Ever TOP 100 Hindi

        Best Hindi Jokes (Click)


TOP Hundred JOKES BY OYE! EK JOKE SUNAU



Rin lagaya or daag gaya
Wah Wah

Rin lagaya or daag gaya
waah waah

Abhijeet: Daya lagta hai,
Khooni bhaag gaya.


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Disco:- Bar mein kyu hai Dhamaal...??
.
.
.
Disco:- Bar mein kyu hai Dhamaal.....?
.
.
A.C.P bola: Daya , surakshit kaale mere baal , Vasmol ne kiya kamaal...:P=D :D =D

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Shortest poem
evER... 

Baba black sheep have u any wool..??
.
.
Sheep: Ja na bey dhakkan...:/

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Ek Aunty Coke pee rahi thi,
Tabhi usme ek Keeda gir gaya…
 Aunty ne us keede ko bahar nikala,
to keeda bola: Maaaa 
Aunty boli: Tune mujhe maa kyun kaha?
 Keeda bola: Kyunki Main teri Koke (कोक) se Nikla
hoon, Maa !
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1 Molvi aur Pathan ne Samandar ke kinary Board dekha jispe likha tha

"DOOBTY KO BACHANY WALY KO 500 ka INNAM"

MOLVI: Main jump lagata hun tum muje bachana is tarha 500 milenge hum fifty fifty ker lengy.

Ye keh kar Molvi ne jump laga di.

Pathan Khamoshi se daikhta raha to molvi ne chilla ke kaha:"Muje Tairna nhi aata tum mje bachate kyun nahi?

PATHAN: Tum ne board ke neeche nahi parha, neeche likha tha

"LAASH NIKALNE WALY KO 2000 KA INAAM":D


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Kambal Aur Razai ko karo Maaf,
Cooler Aur A.C kar Lo saaf, Paseena chutega Din aur
Raat
Ab Bina Nahaaye Nahi Banegi Baat,
Apne Nature Mein rakho NARMI,
Meri Taraf se Aapko Sabhi ko....... "HAPPY-GARMI"


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An airplane was about to crash; there were 5
passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the
chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to
die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane. The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the
prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest
woman in Australian history, so Australia's people
don't want me to die." She took the second
parachute and jumped out of the plane. The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm a Senator,
and a decorated war hero from the Army of the
United States of America ." So he grabbed the
parachute next to him and jumped. The fourth passenger, ex-President George W. Bush,
said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl,
"I have lived a full life, and served my country the
best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have
the last parachute. "The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. President. There's
a parachute left for you. Australia 's smartest woman
took my schoolbag.


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Science kehta hai k pani boil
karne se germs mar jaate hain…..
.
.
.
Par science ko ye nahi pata k
germs ki dead bodies
to pani me hi reh jati hai….
.
.
“kasam se bachpan se hi genious hun, lekin kabhi show nhe
kiya”;) :D :D :D


Santa:"Life Me kitne bhi Dukh mile Gam mile apne aansu bah
jane dena unhe rokna mat..
.
.
.
Banta:"Kyu yaar...:/
.
.
.
Santa:"kyu ki ruke hue pani
me hi Malaria wale maccharande dete hai...:p :O :D :D


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In engineering exam a question
came
A parrot sits on an elephant and the
elephant died. Prove it.
.
.
.
.
.
Engineer answer:
assume that elephant name was
parrot and
the parrot name was
elephant...:p;) :D


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Santa knocks the door . 
Banta:kaun hai ?? . 
Santa:mai hoon . 
Banta:mai kaun ?? . . . . . 
Santa:le abe pagal khud ko hi bhool gaya tu :p


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A man for post of Security Guard was interviewed:

"We want someone with a suspicious mind, always on high alert, wanting to attack, strong body, high sense of hearing & most importantly Killer instinct.! Do u think u are eligible?"

Man:"No Sir! But can my Wife apply? :D


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Passenger : how dare u put hand in my pocket>:O 
Santa : i wanted match box8-| 

Passenger : u cud have asked me>:O 
Santa : i dont talk to strangers !! 3-|:p


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HOSPITAL ATTENDENCE:
LANGDA
Present Sir,
KANA
Present Sir
ANDHA present sir,
MENTAL
MENTAL
:
:
:
:
:
Beta status Baad Me Pad Liyo,
Teri Absent Lag Jayegi...;-) :D :D


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Ek kanjus k ghar mehman aaey hua y thay.
Kanjus: Thanda peo ge ya garam?.
Mehman: Thanda.
Kanjus: Rooh Afza ya Pepsi?.
Mehmaan: Pepsi .
Kanjus: Bottle mein peo gay ya glass me?.
Mehmaan: Glass me..
Kanjus: simple glass me ya design wala?.
Mehmaan: Design wala.
Kanjus: Lines wala ya flowers wala.
Mehman: Flowers wala.
Kanjus: Gulaab wala ya chambeli wala.
Mehman: Chambeli wala.
Kanjus: Sorry Yaar hamaray ghar me aisa glass nahi hai.....


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Ek raah chalti ladki ko dekh kar santa bol...
.
Kya aap mujhe pehchanti hai..
.
Ladki- nahi mai nahi pehchanti...
.
Santa- ji mai wahi ho jisko aapne 2 din pehle b nahi pehchana tha...


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Effect of Facebook...
.
Teacher:"Batao Parle-G par Jo
Green dot bana
hota hai Uska kya matlab hota hai.. ??
.
.
.
.
Student:"Sir iska matlab hai KiParle sahab abhi Online hain..:p


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Kya aapko pata h duniya ka sabse
pehla jahaaz kahan uda tha
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Janiye is chhote se break k baad.
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Surf exel-daag achhe hain..
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Rupa front line-raho sabse aage.
.
.
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Asli masale sach sach-
MDH, MDH
.
.
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Washing powder washing powder nirma
Nirmaaaaaa
.
.
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Laila ko
karna tha impress
majnu ne khai minto Fresh.
.
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Hi handsome Hi handsome
Hi handsome
fair and handsome cream
for mens
.
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Rahiye na bekhabar
dekhiye fir khaas khabar
..Aaj Tak
.
.
.
.
.
After 15 min -
Welcome Back to
-- my show
-
-
-
Duniya ka sabse pehla jahaz
"Hawa" me uda tha..;)::D::


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Rajnikant Garba ki Raat Dhol Baja raha tha..
.
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Thodi der Baad ek Alien Dharati per Aaya aur Bola
.
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.
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Bhai Mere Bete ka kal Exam hai, Thoda Dheere Bajaa...:/:p :O :D


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Agar Jackie Chain Ki
Mother-In-Law Kidnap Ho Jaye
To Use Kaun Vapas Layega?
.
Guess?
.
.
.
.
.
Vicks Vapourub...!
Kyunki Vicks Lautaye Chain Ki Saas:p


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In Rockstar-'toote ­ hue dil se hi
Sangeet nikalta hai!!'....
.
.
.
.
.
In exams-'chhute hue chapter se hi
Questions nikalta hai!! :D


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What will be the ad for Petrol in Year 2020?
.
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.
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Buy 10 liter Petrol&Get 1 Tata Nano free…!!!


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Aansu tapak pare berojgari ke us ehsaas se gaalib..
.
.
Jab maa ne kaha beta khali baitha hai ye le matar hi chil de....
Hahahahahahah


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Gawaar : Ye Tv Kitne Ka Hai.
Salesman- Hum Gawaaro Ko Koi
Chiz Nahi Bechte..

Gawaar After 1 Month clean Shave
... &hair cut, : Ye Tv Kitne Ka Hai..
Salesman: Hum Gawaaron ko Koi
Chiz Nahi Bechte..

Gawaar After 1 Month Full angrez
banke: WHAT'S D COST OF THAT TV??
Salesman : Hum Gawaaron ko Koi
Chiz Naahi Bechte..

Gawaarr Gusse Me: Tujhe Kaise
Pata Chal Jata Hai Ki
mai Gawaar Hu..?
Salsman: Q ki Ye Tv Nahi
"MICROWAVE"Hai.....:o


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Munna bhai: "Circuit, agar bus pe tu
chade, ya fir tujpe bs chadJaye 2
kya hoga"!!
Circuit: "bole 2 bhai,dono baar ticket
apani hi kategi.

hahahaha 

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Ek 5th class ka bacha Bill Gates ko
letter likhta h
Sir,

Mujhe Kuch Sawal Poochne H
...
1. Keyboard K Letters Sahi Jaga
Nahi Hen, Keyboard Ka Sahi
Version Kab Ayega?
2. Windows Main START Ka Button
... Hy, STOP Ka Nahi
3. Hum Ms-Word Use Karte Hen,
Mr- Word Kab Release Hoga?
4. Keyboard Main ANY KEY Ka
Button Nahi to Computer Q
Maangta Hy? Aakhir Main ek Zati
Sawal
5. Aap Ka Naam GATES Hai To Aap
WINDOWS Q Banatay H

Hogaya na Bill Gates ka Bheja Fry
hahahahhaha 


Best Hindi Jokes (Click)

Teacher : Jis aadmi k dono haath na ho

usey Hindi aur English me kya kahenge.?

Santa: Hindi me THAKUR

aur

English me HANDS FREE.!


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Jitni Padhai Girls Rickshaw,
Auto And Buses me Karti Hai..
.
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Utni Agar Class Ya Ghar Par kar le to,,
.
.
.
Har Saal TOP kar Jaaye...:p


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After Accident: American:" Its Fine Man..
.
British:" I am So Sorry
.
Australia:" No Worries Dude
.
Germany:" Are You Okay... ??
.
.
.
.
India:" Andha hai kya saale dhakkan ki tarha chala raha hai
akkal ke dushman saale tere baap ka
road hai kya bahar nikal dekh teri kaise
bajata hun..:p :D :O :D


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Train me 1 ladke ne T.T.E. Se
kaha
"Mujhe subah 4 baje patiala utha
dijiyega,agar main na jagu to
jabardasti utaar
dijiyega.
Muje subah interview dena hai."
Subah 8 baje ladka jaga to patiala
nikal gaya tha !
Ladka TTE ko maa bahen ki
gaaliyaan dene lga......!
Logo ne TTE se kaha ke wo apko
gaaliyaan de raha hai
aur aap chup-chap sun rahe hai.!!
.
.
.
. TTE- Main ye soch raha hun ki
.
.
Subah jisko maine Zabardasti utaar
diya hai
Woh kitni gaaliyaan de raha
hoga.....


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Dadi marte hue boli : "Beta me apna farm, 6 tractor, 50 janwar n 22,389,630 cash tmhare naam karti
hoon..
.
.
.
... .

Ladka:"dadi ye sub hai kaha.. ??
.
.
.
.
.
.

Dadi:"Farmville­ on Facebook..:p :O=)) X_X


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Ek chor 1 crore rupies aur bahut
gold chori karke bhag rahatha,
.
Ek gunge,
bahre insan ke ghar ghus gaya,
Maal udhar rakh kar bola"Kal aakele jaoonga". . Dusre din gaya,
Maal vahan nahin tha,
Puchha to gunga aise ishare karta
mano wo kuch nahin janta.
.
Chor apne ek aise dost ko le aaya jo gungo ki bhasha janta tha.
.
Chor Bola"isko puchh maal
kahanhai bata de nahin to shoot kar dunga.".
Gunga darr gaya aur apni bhasha mein bola,
. "Ghar ke pichhe jo tree hai uske niche. "Chor ko kuch samjah nahi aaya.
Usne Dost se puchha"Kya bolta hai??
.
Dost :-"Bolta hai goli marde,
Main nahin bataunga..:P =D:P :D .
. Jisko Samajh Me Aaya Bas LiKE thoko
Baaki dubara padho :D

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Pinku gaon Sasural Gya Uski Sas N Use 7din Tak Subeh-Sham Palak Ki Sabzi Khilyi
.
.
.
8ve Din Pucha Kya
Khaoge..?

Pinku-Khet Dikha Do Khud Hi
Char Aunga..! Hehehe :D

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Justin Bieber was arrested this morning for using Men's Toilet. :p
.
hahahhahahahhah a... yaar ab to hadd ho gayi besti maarne ki...Lol


Best Hindi Jokes (Click)

kal raat jab maine kitab kholi to ehsaas
hua
.
.
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.
.
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.
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kitab kholne ke baad jo neend aati
hai na...
wo neend ki goli khane se bhi nai
aati... :p :O :D


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Waah ! Waah ! You will love this
reality of life...
.
.
.
NIKAAH & JANAAZA........
.
The difference between a wedding
and a funeral ! (FARQ SIRF ITNA SA
THA)
.
Teri doli uthi,
Meri mayyat uthi,
Phool tujh par bhi barse,
Phool mujh par bhi barse,
FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA
Tu saj gayi,
Mujhe sajaya gaya.
.
Tu bhi ghar ko chali,
Main bi ghar ko chala,
FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA
Tu uth ke gayi,
Mujhe uthaya gaya.
.
Mehfil wahan bhi thi,
Log yahan bhi the,
FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA
Unka hasna wahan,
Inka rona yahan.
.
Qazi udhar bhi tha, Molvi idhar bhi
tha,
Do bol tere pade, Do bol mere
pade,
Tera NIKKAH pada, Mera JANAAZA
pada,
FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA
Tujhe APNAYA gaya,
Mujhe DAFNAYA gaya


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reporter ne zakhmi aadmi se
pucha
"jab bomb gira to kya wo zor se
fata?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aadmi
nahi haramzade, wo rengta hua
mere pas aya
or sharma ke mujhse bola paaji Kabi Has Be liya Kro


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Maa:" Baal kyu nahi katwata.. ??
.
.
.
Ishant Sharma:" Yo Mom It's fashion..
.
.
.
Maa:" Wo to theekh hai par" Log Teri Behen
ke liye aate hai..
aur Tujhe Pasand kar jate hai :D


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Pappu went to USA and had a
meeting with OBAMA..
OBAMA : I
want to show you
that how much advance we are
Come with me, He takes him to
a forest.
.
OBAMA : Dig the ground. pappu
did it.
.
OBAMA : More….More…More -…
pappu went upto 100 Feet.
.
OBAMA : So now, try to search
something.
.
Pappu : I got a Wire.
.
OBAMA: You know, it shows that
even 100 years ago we used to
have telephones. Pappu became
frustrated. He
invited OBAMA to India.
Next year OBAMA was in India.
Pappu : I want to show you our
advancement.
The same…he takes OBAMA to a
forest.
Pappu : Dig it... obama does.
.
Pappu : More….More…More -……
OBAMA goes upto almost 400
feet.
.
Pappu :Try to find something.
OBAMA tries Pappu : Did you get
anything?
.
OBAMA: No, there is nothing
here.
.
Pappu: you know, it shows that
even 400 years
ago, we used to have WIRELESS
mob !!!
Obama shockd pappu rockd!!!!


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Reporter (kasab ki phasi ke
pehle):
"aapko kaisa laga 4 saal india
me reh kar.. ??
.
. .
KASAB:"mujhe pata nahi tha k
mein yaha 4 saal rahunga..
.
.
. .
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.
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.
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Nahi to Mai Engineering Kar
Leta..:p :O :D


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Pappu - ek liter aata dena
Dukandar - aata kilo mai aata hai liter mai nahi
Pappu - is botel mai ek kilo aata dena
Dukandar - aby tune muje pagal ker diya hai ab tu dukan per beth or mai grahk banta hu
Ek kilo aata dena
.
Pappu - botel laye ho

Toko like pappu ustad per


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Sir-Kaun sa Panchi sabse Tez udta
h?

Boy-Haathi.

Sir-Nalayak,tera baap kya karta h?

Boy-Chota Rajan k gang me
shooter hai.

Sir-Shaabaash! Haathi sahi jawab
hai.. :P

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Pappu ne apne aalsi nakur se kaha - tum khali bathe ho itne machher gun guna rahe hai inhe mar girao
.
Thodi der baad
Pappu - aby tujse kaha to tha machhero ko mar de
Ye to abhi bhi gun guna rahe hai
.
Nakur - sahab machhro ko to mene mar diya
Ye to un machhro ki vidhva biwiya hai jo ro rahi hai


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