Tuesday

Best Joke Ever (Top. 50 Hindi ) 2016



Top Fifty Jokes By Oye! ek Joke Sunau

          
TOP 100 HINDI JOKES 2016 (NEW)

TOP 100 Funny Images 2016 (New*)



1. b bhai behen bichadne ka kya hua anjaam ??
Dnt say wah wah Plz feel the pain ... (o_O )
bhai behen bichadne ka kya hua anjam ??
MUNNA bana MBBS aur MUNNI hui badnaam..


 


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2.An old Indian women slips on ice
an falls..
She cries.. "Hai meri kismat"..
A gora walks past and says..
"Hi merry christmas to u Too".X_X



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3. Sardar picnic par gaye whan ja kar yaad aaya ke pepsi to ghar bhul gaye.
Decide kia ke sab se chhota sardar ja kar Pepsi le aaye,
Sardar: Main is shart par jata hu ke tum mere ane tak smose nahi khaoge.
Dono ne kaha thik hai.
1 din guzar gaya sardar nahi aaya.
2 din guzar gaye.
Dono ne socha ke ab samose kha lene chahiye.
Jaise hi smosa uthaya chota sardar ped ke peechhe se nikal k bola. "AISE KAROGE TO MAIN NAHI JAAUNGA"



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4. Pappu’s Atittude In Exams.

They Give Me Questions Which I Don’t Know.

So………………

I Give Them Answers Which They Don’t Know.

Why???

“Tit For Tat“
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5. Santa: Yaar answer sheet par sabse pehle kya likhu?
Banta: Yehi ki is answer sheet par likhe gaye sabhi answers kalpnik hain jinka kisi bhi book se koi smbandh nahi hai.
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6. Teacher : Google is a girl or a boy..?
..
..
..
Student: Google is a Girl.....because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting.....
and
you ask only one question.....
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...
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7. A muslim girl wearing a burka was going on the road.

The boy going just behind the girl said,"Rafta Rafta dekho aankh jisse ladhi hain."

Girl Replied,"Aankh Jisse ladhi, tere baap se bhi badhi hain
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8. Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!

Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.

Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions.
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9. A boy said
I Love U to a girl
Bt
Girl replied
Sorry i lv someone else

The boy in sad mood looked
at d girl & said

"Batau tere baap ko?" ;-) :D
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Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!!

Student:
Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar,
& keep It Outside the Ant's Hole..!

After eating, Ant will Search for
some Water near a Water tank.
Push ant in to it.. =!!

Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire,

When it Reaches fire, Put a Bomb into D fire..!!

Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU..!! =O

And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from it's Mouth and Kill the Ant.. !!

=|

MORAL:
Don't Play with Students.. !!
They can Do any thing for 15 Marks..
=D =P




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11. Saari Raat guzar jaati hai bas isi Kashmakash me ki
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ye saali rajaai me hawa kidhar se ghus rahi hai... :
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12. Old Generation:
"Neki kar, Dariya mein daal"
.
.
.
New Generation:
"Kuch bhi kar, Facebook pe daal"



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13. year old boy:
i love you mom!

mom: awwww..
i love u too Son!
...
16 year old boy:
i love u mom!

mom: sorry,
i have no money :D

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14. Why girls live longer than boys????
.
.
.
.
.
.
Scientific studies have proved that
.
.
.
"SHOPPING"
never causes HEART ATTACKS, but,
.
.
"PAYING the "BILLS" does :):D

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15. Girlfriend setting password
for her laptop with
boyfriend sitting beside
her…

She types “BRAIN” as
password.
Boyfriend fell down of his
chair , laughing
Bcoz
Laptop replied:
“TOO SMALL
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16. Santa n Banta were watching a cricket match. 
When Dhoni hits a boundary. 
Banta: Kya Goal mara. 
Santa: Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai
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17. Gl- can i sit here?
Boy- it all urs...:)

Gl- can i tk some water?
Boy- my plsr...:)
...
Gl- Bhaiya agla station konsa hai?
.

Boy- mere baap ne mere dimag me koi GPS fit nhi kiya hai ,jaldi seat khali ker mujhe neend a rahi hai ......... :P :P :P :D :/

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18. Two terrorists having discussion in a bar.

The waiter asks them what the discussion was about?

Terrorist :- We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey..

Waiter :- Why a donkey?

Then one terrorist says to the other,
"See I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand people".
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19. Gabbar: Kitne admi they?
Sambha: Sardar 2
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai
Gabbar: Aur 2 se pehle?
Samba: 2 se pehle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata
Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do :-D :-P :-)

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Pani Pila Do ...
Biwi :- Kya! ,Pyaas Lagi Hai ??
..
... ..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Husband (Gussey se):
"Nahi"Gala Check Karna Hai
Kahin se"LEAK"to Nahi Hai =P xD

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21. Height of Facebook update :

A newly born baby's status

"Thanks God!
...
Got delivered successfully."

At- Apollo hospital, Bangalore.

With

Suresh, Ramesh, Sonu, Moni and my girl friend Sonam. O.o
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22. When aryabhatta checked my papers, 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
he invented zero:-P

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23. Maine 1 Ladki se puchha:
Tum facebook use karti ho ??
.
.
.
... .
.
.
.
.
.
Ladki: Nahi, Main Facewash use krti
hoon :D :P
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24. Ye baat sun kar Mere haathon se Gol Gappa hi
gir gya
.
.
.
... .
.
.
.
.
.
jab gol gappe wala bola
"Please give your feedback on Our Facebook
Page" :-P

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25. Teacher: Beta batao Parle G kepacket pe jo Green dot banahai uska matlab kya hai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Baccha-'mam iska matlab Parle G online baithe hain..

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26. Bird asked a bee, u work so hard 2 get honey n people steal. dont u feel sad?

Bee-no,coz they can never steal my art of making honey.

Moral:
... Insaan kya.....
kutta, billi, makkhi, jisko dekho wo aajkal philosphy jhaad raha hai....:D :P :p

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27. Bird asked a bee, u work so hard 2 get honey n people steal. dont u feel sad?

Bee-no,coz they can never steal my art of making honey.

Moral:
... Insaan kya.....
kutta, billi, makkhi, jisko dekho wo aajkal philosphy jhaad raha hai....:D :P :p

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28. A child prayed to god for a cycle
he didnt get.......:(
next he goes to mandir n stole's ganesh ji's statue
N wrote a letter to shivji agar bacha chahye toh mandir k peeche cycle le k ajao....

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29. Santa to banta: Yaar koi aisa valentine gift bataa jo seedha teri bhabi ke dil per lage,
.
... .
.
.
.
.
.
.
Banta: Goli maar de :D

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30. Girlfriend: I Am Going To Marry
Someone Else, Forget Me
Forever !!
Funny Boyfriend:
.
.
.
.
.
Naa Tere Aane Ki Khushi,
Na
Tere Jaane Ka Gam,
Jaao Bahen Jao Jee Lo Apni Zindagi,
Doosri Pata Leinge Hum

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31. Teacher: ‘3 idiots’ film dehknay ke baad aap ko kya lesson mila? Pap
pu: miss yehi ki..Enginering padh kar bhi medical ki ladki fasai ja sak
ti hai :D . .

Miss: shut up & get out. 
Babloo: miss mein bataon..? 
Miss: very good, batao.. 
Babloo: miss college ke 1st day Underwear zaroor pehna chahiye :D . .
.
Miss: u also get out. 
Shamu: miss mein bataon..?
Miss: i think u are a brilliant student.. tum sahi batao gay.. .
Shamu :miss doctor ke elawa Engineer bhi delivery kar sakta hai. :- D:-
D Miss: u also get out. . GUDU: Miss mein bataon. Miss: HAAN BATAO... . GUDU: FRENCH KISS MEIN NAAK BEECH MEIN NAHI AATI. ;-) Students Rock!

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31. Teacher: Homework Kyun
Nahi Kiya?
Student: Sir, Light
Nahi Thi
Teacher: To MomBatti Jala
Lete ... Student: Sir, Maachis
Nahi Thi
Teacher: Machis Kyun Nahi
Thi
Student: Pooja Ghar Me
Rakhi Thi. Teacher: To Wahan Se Le
Aate
Student: Nahaya Hua Nahi
Tha
Teacher: Nahaye Kyun Nahi
Thi. Student: Pani Nahi Tha
Sir.
Teacher: Pani Kyu Nahi Tha?
Student: Sir Motor Nahi Chal
Rahi Thi.
Teacher: Ullu Ke Pathe Motor Kyun Nahi Chal Rahi
Thi ?
Student: Sir Bataya
To Ttha Light Nahi Thi :

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32. Angrez darwaza kholne ko hindi me kaise kahega... 
.
.
.
U dnt kw......?
... ... .
.
.
Mai batata hu......

Wo kahega "THERE WAS A COLD DAY."


Say ten times khud samajh aa jayega

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33.  Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do. 

Saheb: Kal aana.

Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.

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34. Pintu Pappu Ki Wedding Main: Are pappu Ye Bhabhi Gumsum Kyun Hai, Koi Muskaan Nahi Hai, Koi Tenshion Hai Kya??
Funny Pappu: Haan Yaar Isne Iske Baap Se Lipistick Laane Ke Liye Kaha Tha, saale Ganje Ne
Fevistick Laakar Pakda Di

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35. Santa-Banta Style of Cheating ;)
..
Santa-Banta cheating krne hi wale the k Teachr agya or pucha:
Tum se peche wale larke ne abi kya pucha? 
Santa:Sir is ne pucha Japan ka capital kya h..
Teachr:
to tum ne bta dya?
Banta:Nai Sir.. Mene isko danta tha k abi to tu ne muje Toka hai mgr ab na "TOKYO":D

Geo CheaterZ!:-P 
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36. Amazing facts bout CID :
1) Daya has d world record 4
breaking the mst no. Of doors
2) C.I.D bureau has 1 tata sumo
since 13 yrs
3) In the entire 20 storey cid
building only 6 people work
4) There is no police in
mumbai,C.I.D handles every case
5) Accused person acepts his
crime only aftr gting a slap on
face from Daya
6) None of the C.I.D officers got
Married
7) People remember the person
they saw once n give exact sketch
8) None of the officers ever got
promotion nt even A.C.P
9) Salunke just pres ctrl n alt n
gets finger prints testd
10) End of episode all criminals
get faasi :D:D

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37. Santa Rocks :) like kar le na ;)
Santa called FM radio &
said:-

I’ve found a purse with
Rs.15000/- a credit card &
... ... an ID card of Mr.Ram new
road, Kathmandu.

Radio Jockey: How honest
so you want to return his
purse?

Santa: no.. I just wanted to
dedicate a sad song for
him...! :D

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38. Teacher:What is half of 8??

Rajnikant:
4
...
Santa:
Depend karta hai agar horizontally aadha karo to '0'
Aur vertically kaato toh '3'.

Santa rocked.
Rajnikant shocked\=D/

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39. *Extraordinarily Khatarnak Student*

Teacher: "Do you know Avogadro's Number"?

Student: "Avogadro Ladka Tha Ya Ladki"?

Teacher: "Ladka"

Student: "Sorry Dude, Mai Ladko Ke Number Nahi Rakhta" ;) :p



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TOP 100 Funny Images 2016 (New*)

40. (kavi ka Beta School Mein =P)

Teacher : What Is N0un??

Student : Arz Karta Hoon...
...
kutta Bhi Hota Hai Apni Gali Mein King...
Wah Wah...

Kutta Bhi Hota Hai Apni Gali Mein King...

Noun Is A Name Of Any Person Place Or Thing!! =p

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41. Santa Rockss ;-) ;-D
Madam:Agr Koi School Ke Samne Bomb Rakh Deta Hai To Kya Karoge?
Santa:1-2 min Dekhenge
.
Agr Koi Le Jata Hai To Theek Hai,Wrna Staff Room Main Rakh Denge!:

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42. Santa Rocks ;-)
Teacher:
Tell the name of Any Microsoft Product?

Sam:
MS Excel

John:
MS Word

Matt:
MS PowerPoint

Santa:
After Thinking a lot:
.
.
.
.
.
“MS Dhoni”

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43. The Best Prank Call Ever:

"Hello KFC?"

- " Yes, How can I help you sir?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
" I want MACDONALD'S number!!! :-P:-D



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44. Techr-Itni Late Kyu Aye.
Kid-Mummy Papa Me Ladai Ho Gai
Techr-To Late Kyu HuaKid-Mera 1 Juta Mom Ke Hath Me Aur 2sra Papa K Hath Me tha...
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42. Texi Wala-Sir Sorry
Mai Meter Chalu Karna Bhul Gaya
Tha. . !
Ab Kitna Bhada Lu. ?
Santa- Oye Praji Koi Gal Nhi
Maii B Apna Batva Bhul Gaya
Hu. . :D :P



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43. Santa sarab pite pite ro pada..
Banta:: kyun ro rahe ho
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa:: jise bhulane ke liye pee raha tha uska naam nahi yaad aa raha hai..lol..

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44. Ladka Exam Hall me
pareshan tha
Sir:Kya hua?
Qustn papr
mushkil he?
Boy:
Nahi sir,
main to soch raha hu is qustn ka
ans
kis jeb me hai?



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45. Santa ne exam sheet par SUSU karke teacher ke hath me thama di.
..
Teacher-GADHE ye kya kia.!!!
..
..
Santa.-Sir, apne hi kaha tha pahle jo aa rha he wahi krdo...



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46. Santa jab court se case jeet k aaya to usne wakeel ko bas 1o rupee diye.....
.
.wakeel (Lawyer) gussa ho ke bola-"YE MERE CHAPRASI K LIYE HE KI MERE NAUKAR K LIYE....?????"
.
.
.
.
.....Santa bola-"YE TUM TEENO KE LIYE HAI...
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47. Ek train accident me 100 sardar mar gaye 1 bach gaya !
Reportar ne usse pucha : ye sab kaise hua? 
Sardar : jaise hi anouncement hua ki shatabdi express platform no. 2 par aa rahi hai sab platform se utarkar apni jaan bachane patri par aa gaye, lekin train patri par aa gayi aur sab mar gaye,
Reportar : yani aap samajdar sardar nikle jo patri par nahi utare. 
Sardar : ji nahi me to suicide karne aya tha anouncement sunkar patri se hatkar platform par let gaya tha.

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48. Masoom Dhamki

Ek Chor Chori Kar Ke Ghar Se Jaa Raha Tha.....Ki Bache Ki Aankh Khul Gai........

Bacha : Mera School Bag Bhi Le Ja Varna Shor Macha Dunga......:-P :-D

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49. Santa was lying on beach,
American: R u Relaxing?
Santa:No I m Santa Singh,
Another Amrican: R u relaxing?
Santa: No I m Santa Singh
Another American: R u relaxing?
Santa: No (Shouting)
I m santa Singh >:O
Santa left that
place in anger.
Then Santa asks one American
lying nearby,
R u relaxing?
American: Yes.
Santa slaps him & says,
Kutte sab tujhe dhund rhe
he aur tu yha
pada

hai. :D :D
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50.  Why does Bappi Lahiri never cry?

Jab ghar mein pada ho sona, phir kahe ka rona..
=)) 



34 comments:

  1. mast chutkale the yaar , keep it up the good work

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nyceeeeeeeeeeee jokeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees

    ReplyDelete
  3. bahut mast hai yr....................

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Itne bhi badiya nahi hain 👅👅👅

      Delete
  4. This is best jokes
    Santa Rocks :) like kar le na ;)
    Santa called FM radio & ..............
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    Replies
    1. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha mar gyaa yaar

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  5. Mood Bana Diya Yaar Refresh Ho Gaye

    Lage raho

    Non Veg Jokes

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  6. Great yr, thanxx for giving a smile

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  7. Kahaan kahaan se late ho yaar maza aa gaya

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    "Unbeatable Line:
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    It is Beauty… An Inspiration, A Confidence… In this special day, we pledge to celebrate…Happy Women's Day Images 2016

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  13. Good!!Hmm..waise kaha se copy past kiye ye saare jokes ..?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thanks For sharing the hindi jokes. It is so funny jokes. I like it very much & I will share this funny hindi jokes. I m also daily reading the latest & most funniest jokes from TrollTree.Com.

    ReplyDelete
  15. very nic jokes

    एक आदमी साधू से बोला,
    मेरी बीवी बहुत परेशांन करती है,
    कोई उपाय बताएँ ना साधू जी…
    और फिर साधु ग़ुस्से में बोले,
    अबे साले उपाय होता तो मैं साधू क्यों बनता….

    for latest hindi jokes
    plz visit:-http://hindisuperjokes.com/

    ReplyDelete
  16. very nic jokes

    एक बच्चे से संता: “बिल्ली पूछ क्यों हिलती है …??”

    बच्चा : “इसलिए के पूछ बिल्ली की है … तेरे बाप की नहीं …!!!”

    सीधी बात .. नो बकवास … :

    for latest hindi jokes
    plz visit:-http://hindisuperjokes.com/

    ReplyDelete
  17. very funny jokes, if want more jokes in hindi you can visit amulyam humour section

    ReplyDelete
  18. पुराना ‘माल’ लाइए और नया ‘आइटम’ ले जाईये!

    कोई भी पुराना ‘माल’ लाइए और
    नया ‘आइटम’ ले जाईये!

    .
    .
    .
    इस तरह के
    ऑफर देने वाले
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    शादीशुदा लोगों की जज्बातों से खेलते हैं ।....

    Read More Jokes Here:-http://hindidesijokes.com

    ReplyDelete
  19. मुझे लोन चाहिए…?

    बैंक से : good morning सर
    मै HDFC से सोनाली बोल रही हूँ. क्या मै इस समय आप से बात कर सकती हूँ.

    कस्टमर : हाँ बोलिये मेम ….

    सोनाली : सर हमारी बँक बहोत कम ब्याज पे लोन दे रही है
    क्या आप इंटरेस्टेड है

    कस्टमर : yes मेम..
    जरूर जरूर !!

    सोनाली : thanks सर क्या मै आपका नाम जान सकती हूँ

    कस्टमर :विजय माल्या

    सोनाली अभी तक कोमा में है

    Read More Funny Jokes Here:-http://hindidesijokes.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. माँ बेटा और फैशन….

    माँ – बेटा तू बाल क्यों नहीं कटवाता ।
    .
    बेटा – ये फैशन है माँ.....
    .
    .
    माँ – अरे बेशरम वो तेरी बहन के लिए आये थे और
    तुझे पसंद कर गए......

    Read Full Joke Here:-http://hindidesijokes.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. MAST COLLECTION OF JOKES
    GET LATEST JOKES AND SMS IN YOUR INBOX
    LAUGHING IS THE BEST MEDICINE FOR GOOD HEALTH
    JOKES KA ADDA

    ReplyDelete